Does my 5 year old have racial bias already?

This morning my five year old helped me take out the trash. She was dancing around in the drive as I cleaned out evidence of my many fast food lunches crushed into the corner of the passenger seat of my car.  I’m a Realtor so I eat a lot of lunches in my car.

We started making our way to place trash bin at the curb when she noticed about thirty birds eating birdseed that our neighbors had tossed in their driveway.

She looks at me and tells me that it looks like a birdie restaurant.  That it did with thirty doves quickly picking up seed and eating as fast as they could, much they way I must have looked creating my pile of fast food bags.

“Look daddy there is a one black bird, he must be the waiter.”

The waiter, the waiter! Why would she think the black one is the waiter? Does she think that since he’s black he must be the servant? We haven’t broached the topic of slavery from a historical perspective. We’ve taught that all men are equal and all birds too.  Where is she getting this from? Why would she think this?  We probably go out of our way to treat other races better than we treat ourselves. Does that make me a racists against my race and hers?  Heck she’s bi-racial so by offending ourselves I’m offending two races.

For a girl who has only known an African American President and knows that daddy’s favorite golfer among all the white guys is an African American, how the heck is she seeing racial bias.

All of these questions flooded my mind in a split second like a MSNBC reporter at a Trump rally.  I pictured myself running for city council in a few years having to answer questions about how my little girl obtained racial bias and not having any answer other than “I don’t freaking know!!!!”

So I asked, “sweetie, why is the black bird the waiter.”  She looked at me with innocent eyes and said “Because he’s wearing a black uniform like waiters do.”

Phew! She’s not racist just observant (not that we eat at many restaurants with waiters in tuxes, Chili’s waiters have been known to wear black).

I know that racial bias will creep its ugly head into my child’s world through TV, the internet, music, class mates and yes through her parents.  It’s nearly impossible to avoid. The problem as I look at it is not that its there but how we handle it. I honestly believe we have become  conditioned to see differences over the last many years in a way that I didn’t feel growing up.  I’m thirty-seven and think about race more now than at any point of my life. I had African American, Hispanic, Anglo and Asian American friends growing up. To me they were just friends and race was just a thing.  Sure I’ve felt odd being the only Hispanic at times when I’m certain places but  when I stopped thinking about it all was good. I have always just considered myself an American who’s family came from Spain and Mexico a long time ago.  My race is just part of my history. I’m not disowning it, I just don’t let if define me. I like the cultural elements of my heritage, especially the food.  I just believe my character is what should define me. That’s my choice and others have the right to think different.

We are all different and that’s a beautiful thing, yet we are all humans and love flows from and to us the same. Cultural differences make the world an amazingly awesome place. It would be boring if we all act the same way. If the whole world was like Texas it would be boring, well run but boring. We need Californian’s, New Yorkers, Europeans and everyone else.

The difference we as parents can  have is to make sure our children understand that we are all the same  in that we are all unique and we all need love.  We need to discuss these issues with our kids because if they don’t learn from us they will from someone else.  First to discuss the world from this standpoint we must really take a look at how we see others and the world. Our beliefs pass on to them.  Both hatred and love are taught. We can change the entire world in one generation if we all just really grow up and think like an innocent five year old who just observes the word through fun eyes.

Seventh Anniversary of Dadhood

Seven years ago today I became “DAD” better known today as “Daddy, daddy, daddy”.  The very word strikes fear in the strongest of fatherless men world wide, yet I claim it proudly. I am dad hear me …. frankly sometimes its hard to hear myself because I’m the father of two little girls.

Seven short and at the same time long years ago at 2:56 pm my Ayla was born.  I honestly can’t remember what it felt like to not be a dad. There is a piece of my brain and all of my heart that has been captured by my littles.  I was always afraid that becoming a father would cause the identity of Joseph Cortez to be lost. In reality it was not until I became a dad that my full identity was fully revealed.

I’m not saying that I was incomplete prior to fatherhood just that who I am increased. It’s like God expanded my capacity to understand Him in a new way.  The same can be said of when I married my amazing wife.  There are certain things that only parents can ever understand and that can only be revealed through marriage.

I now look at the world through a lens I didn’t know existed prior to that magical day. Each and every day on this journey I discover new things about the world and myself. I find new weaknesses and once hidden strengths.  My outlook and approach to the social constructs under which the world operates have undergone a transformation in some respects and been reaffirmed in others.  I comprehend love to a level I never could have reached with out the precious gift that is fatherhood.

The main lesson I have learned over the past seven years is that no matter how well read I am, how many sides of every social and political issue I research,  how much advice I garner, I am incapable of being a great father without the grace and strength of God.  On my own I would give in to the temptation of taking the easy way out of difficult situations,  of discipline and guarding their hearts.  I so try to guard their hearts not to shield them from the world but to teach them to be rooted in the strength of conviction of knowing Gods love as best I can through the completely fallible vessel I am. 

The complexity of being a dad in a world focused on Bruce Jenners issues while a Christian holocaust occurs in the Middle East and goes untold is a daunting task.  Parenting in a world where we can’t figure out who should use what bathroom anymore and what was once right is now wrong is becoming increasingly difficult as being self guided instead of God guided is the new normal.  I shall keep my head laser focused on their hearts and do my best to grow as a father and understand I can only control my part. I must trust that my daughters will become who they are supposed to become.  So today I celebrate my daddy hood anniversary with great joy with, great concern for , and most importantly great love for my daughters.

Till On!!

I’m sitting staring at a blank screen full of empty white space begging to be filled with insight and wisdom to be spread across the world wide web that connects every corner of the globe.  My fingers just hovering over the keyboard itching to spill out the many topics I just ran over in my head that I could share with the world. My thoughts on parenting, the ISIS crisis, why I love The Big Bang Theory show so much, or a recap of what Pastor Bil said this week. Thought after thought, idea after idea spring forth like Old Faithful. The problem is that like that geyser the thought springs to life with burst of energy only to fall gracefully to back of my mind only to spring forth at a later time.  So I have sat at this computer several times in 2015 waiting to bring life into my blog, the blog that someday will help a dream come to life.  I feel like I have been in planting mode with a lot of my life dreams lately.  I have been planting the seeds of our real estate business and building company. I have been planting the seeds of a book in various journals that are spread throughout my house and office.  The thing about planting is that it’s messy work and back breaking at the same time.  I remember a couple years ago borrowing an old gas tiller from a friend. I need to take out some grass in our front yard to put in a flower bed. I had never used a tiller before and it showed. I had a tough time controlling the machine at the outset. It bounced back and forth with a mind of its own. My attempts at straight lines were as crooked as a mayoral election in Chicago.  Once you start tilling an area you have to finish otherwise you have a pretty interesting landscape that screams of an unfinished task.  So till on I did.  After several minutes of fighting against the machine’s power I figured out that when I leaned in the tiller would dig in and allow me to push it forward. I began to use the once chaotic power in a controlled fashion to bring up the unwanted grass and get to the good soil.

So till on I shall with my dreams. The key is to take my chaotic power and push-in to bring out the good soil of my life. Honestly doing so is going to take some trial and error. The plan is not complicated. It’s three fold:

1. Get Focused – I am an easily distracted person. I really enjoy learning so I will sometimes jump towards new things to learn. Getting focused for me looks like this:
   1. In business find out what brings the green and do that first. Key principle for all businesses. Fundamentals rule the game.
   2. In health – eat better exercise more. No infomercial needed for that one.
   3. Simplify my world by saying no to things that don’t get me closer to my goal.
2. Move forward – instead of staring at a blank screen, just start typing. Taking action in the right direction is key. It may not be good to start with, but as they say you must start to be good. I’m going to get older. I might as well get older and try, than be older and wished I had tried.
3. Have fun with life – In 2014 I allowed myself to get consumed by stress and fear. Looking back I had a lot more fun than I allowed myself to feel. My family and I made a lot of progress as a family and in our businesses. I’m going to smile more even when I don’t feel like it. Smile folks, it makes those around you smile as well.

Planting seeds is done for one reason and one reason only – TO GROW SOMETHING!!!! “The fruit will come,” is something I keep having to remind myself a long with, “you have a lot of fruit now, you are just planting a new type of tree. Be grateful for your current harvest while the next one grows.”

Plant your seeds and keep tilling. Find out what it is that you need to keep you going. Harness the chaotic power in your life. Push in and press forward. Life is hard sometimes especially when you don’t see the fruit of your labor. The sprouts will soon spring forth and a tree will appear. Blossoms will come and more fruit than you can handle will be yours. Just don’t stop planting and tending to it. First fruits only come after the growth. That’s the promise I’m holding on to. With each key stroke a seed is planted, with each new agent that joins our team a seed is planted. The sun is shining world and the sprouts are coming.

Till on folks!!!

Reflecting on a stressful 2014 or was it?

Over the past few weeks I have begun to feel a stress unlike any I have during my journey as a parentpreneur.  The end of year approaching should be a time of excitement and joy. The anticipation of time off around the corner should light up my smile like the lights on our Christmas tree, yet I have found myself buried under the stress of work and worry. The end of the year for many entrepreneurs has us looking at the finances, goals, and in my case projects wrapping up. Projects don’t always coincide with the year end, but in my case I have two that have been inching a long for the better part of seven months coming to a close. Finishing is not my strong suit, I’m a starter by nature which may explain why I go so long between posts.

This year has been interesting fun and stressful year. We had a lot going on, in fact it’s probably been to much. Buried under my own self talk and stress I was glad to have a great call with my coach who reminded me of how good the year has been. I beat last year’s income (not necessarily profit), opened a real estate franchise office and quadrupled our agent count albeit from two to eight,  I think on some level that may be the hardest jump. The momentum should help us grow quicker next year. We also will finish our strongest year building homes.  The conversation with my coach was a good one because it helped pull me out of the muck of the day to day. When I get lost in the stress of all that has to get done with work and then helping manage a household, raise two kids and support my wife in her growing business it all seems to much. I think about shutting it down some days and just going back to a job where the weekends are really free. I have come close on a few occasion especially with the late night client calls and text ,the weekends full of questions and working with someone for months only to have them use some one else with out a second thought. When I’m caught in the stress I only see the bad, I don’t see the wonderful clients, the great conversations, the fun weekends, the hundreds of people we help employee through building. The stress causes me to lose sight of the dream that drives me, the desire to build a business that helps fellow real estate agents change their careers and lives.

It’s nice to have someone remind me of what we have accomplished instead of what feels sometimes like a series of short comings. Maybe it’s the nature of an entrepreneurs to strive to the next level all the while forgetting the level you’re on is last year’s next level. Andy Andrews says that those who can get through the fog of life seasons will be the one’s to see the reward on the other side. Well, I have turned my fog lights on and I’m going to power through.

This year end take time to review what you have accomplished. Maybe your income went up or down, think about what caused these results. What struggles did you have to deal with that you overcame? Sometimes familial changes or stress can cause your business to slip. I had a daughter in the hospital twice this year causing a new source worry and anxiety. Thankfully all is well, but I can tell you my results during that time were less than stellar financially. However I managed to push thru and I was there for my family when they needed me and that’s more important than a few extra sales.

Before you plan 2015 take a few minutes to review 2014. You may find that you accomplished more than you know and overcame some obstacles that taught you great lessons. The pain and stress are hard at the moment, but the lessons learned can be invaluable if utilized. It’s in the pain that we grow and its on reflection you get the knowledge of such growth.  The wisdom gained in a stressful year will only help to handle the next year better and so on. What once was stressful when faced again is less stressful.

Ask yourself the following questions?

1. What three situations did I overcome that helped me grow? What did I learn about myself in these situations?

2. In 2014 what worked well in my business and family and how can I make it better in 2015?

3. What are three areas I can improve that would make my work and family life better? Are there simple things I can implement like getting a maid for home and new technology for the office? What are some longer term strategies I need to get started on now to have ready for 2016?

This reflection is key to setting goals for 2015. Apply these thoughts to every area of your life.  You may find that 2014 was not as stressful as it seemed in the moment or that it may have been a year of great growth.  The story of your 2014 is yours to tell and yours to assign meaning to. That’s the beauty of life. When I look back on 2014 it was much better than I thought and I’m encouraged how it’s going to help me have a great 2015.
Have a great end to 2014 and get rested for a huge 2015.

Father of the Brides and they are 6 and 4.

When I was in college I had a feeling that I was going to have daughters. I didn’t think about it much until I saw the movie “Father of the Bride.” I have always been a big Steve Martin and Martin short fan. Put them together in a movie and I’m going to watch even with a title like “Father of the Bride.” I knew I was in for trouble when I got misty eyed the first time I watched it. Thankfully I was solo at the time. I’ve held that secret for fifteen years. Anyone that knows me well knows that my thoughts are generally future based. I can envision my life many years in future. Being single and not in a serious relationship at that time I often wondered what it would be like to be married and have kids. I may have been one of the only guys I knew back then who really wanted to get married. I’m thankful I had enough sense and patience to wait for the right girl and not go down the wrong path just to fulfill a desire on my own instead of letting God’s plan work itself out. It’s amazing to see how he was working in my life even when I wasn’t following him.

Fast forward fifteen years to a Saturday afternoon. I’m thirty-five, happily married and father to two beautiful little girls, six and four. My oldest is at the age of wanting to watch movies with actual people in them and not just Disney Princesses. My wife and I are very conscious of what they watch and don’t let them watch to much TV that’s outside of their age range and if it is it’s usually something we have previewed. It’s impossible for them to unsee or unhear something.

My daughters have been fascinated with our wedding album so I knew they would have an interest in the wedding portion of the of Father of the Bride. From the beginning scene where George Banks (Steve Martin’s character) is speaking of his daughter my eyes began to water. I knew enough to stay in the kitchen working on dishes so they wouldn’t see me crying every 10 minutes. Okay it wasn’t that bad but close. The scene that kills me is when he is thinking about his daughter growing up through the years. The movie shows his daughter as a baby, then around 4, 8, teenager and then to the present time in the film. My future oriented brain ran me through the same sequence with my daughters. It is so true that sometimes your brain doesn’t know the difference between thought and reality. I could see myself walking them down the aisle and feeling the emotions of them growing up and leaving the nest. I teared up like a leaky faucet. I wasn’t sure if it was the thought of them leaving or the pain of how much a flipping wedding is going to costs.
I made the through the movie and took a big breath ready for a shot of testosterone from some sports watching. No such luck because part two came on right afterwards. In the second one George Banks’ daughter and wife both get pregnant. It’s hilarious and my girls enjoyed it more than the first. As the movie neared the end I was on the couch cuddled up with both girls watching as George Banks held his grandson and daughter. I held mine tight remembering when each was born and thinking about the day when I will become a grandpa.

I’m so glad there is not it a part three. I found the Spartan race on TV and watched amazing athletes at work. After an emotional morning with the movies and doing several loads of dishes and laundry while my wife was out I needed so man time. That being said man time was hard to do even with the Spartan race on as my girls pranced around the house singing.

I believe the college version of me who first saw the movie thinking about being a dad would be pleased with the wonderful family I have. I really look forward to seeing my daughters get married and I will be pleased to walk them down the aisle. I pray for their future spouse and ask God to bless them the way he blessed me. I also ask him to give the girls patience to wait for the right guy and not rush marriage. I think one of the greatest causes of divorce is people getting married to people they really shouldn’t marry and don’t know it because they rush.

I look forward to being Father of the Bride some day just glad I have a long time to wait and be the main man in their lives (I’m also thankful I have some time to save up for the weddings).

Cliff Dives and a Sick Kid – Stressful Relaxtion

This post was started a week ago, so take yourself all the way back to last week (cue flash back harp music now)
At this very moment I am at the height of a personal paradox, a stress filled relaxing vacation. I’m sitting in a cabana chair with an amazing ocean view of the Caribbean, a full glass Johnny Walker Black and Coke light (as it’s called in Mexico), and an amazing wife, yet my mind and heart have been preoccupied with the stress of work and a sick child. Through her company, Thirty-One Gifts, my wife worked her tail off and earned a fabulous trip to the Hard Rock Resort at Riviera Maya. It’s absolutely amazing. All inclusive meaning all the food and beverage you can handle. I have brought some oversized and stretchy clothes for the occasion. For the first time since our honeymoon nine years ago we are taking a trip that doesn’t involve kids, family, real estate coaching or a life coaching conference. This is our chance to spend time together and take a relaxing break from both of our lives as parentpreneurs.
Relaxation and I have an odd relationship. I almost feel like it’s a long distance relationship in which we speak often yet spend little time together. In my world as a parentpreneur the ability to disconnect is one that doesn’t come easily. Amazing wifi and international cell phone service and an amazing resort quickly turns in to a real estate office south of the border. The real estate transactions can be dealt with fairly quickly these days. Over the past few years I have been able to grow a small team of very competent and reliable agents whom I’m blessed to be associated with. A few text and e-mails makes short work (a few hours) of the first few days. What I am really paying for is the true lack of preparation for integrating my team into the work prior to leaving versus just leaving notes. Future trips will include taking enough time to stop and perform a thorough briefing. That stress I can deal with.
The one I’m struggling with as is my wife who earned this amazing trip is what’s going on with our oldest daughter. The day before our scheduled flights she complained of tummy pain in the morning. Back in June she faced a bout of pancreatitis that involved 4 days of hospitalization for fasting. I told her teacher about pancreatitis and asked her to be sure to look out for her. At 9:30 I received a call to go pick her up from the school. We were able to get her into the doctor right away who then ordered a blood test. My wife and I swapped places and she took little Ayla to the phlembots at the local children’s hospital. Fortunately our trooper has become accustomed to the blood draws over the past several months. A blood tests is the only way to rule out or rule in pancreatitis. Early that evening the whole family somehow all converged together at our house. Oakley’s mom, my parents, the kids, and I all were there when Oakley came in to tell us that Ayla’s numbers were up and that she had to go to a specialists in the next few days. One problem, we are leaving for Mexico at 6 am the next day. We discussed the situation with all the family as the girls played. Our initial thought was to stay. We couldn’t possibly leave her there with the possibility of a hospital visit. We ran through a myriad of options and came to the decision that the family will help as planned. If the doctors said she needed to go to the hospital we could get back that night. Ultimately we asked Ayla and she said that we should go. I’m really glad she said yes because I’m not sure how this would have played out had she begged us to stay.
Once in Mexico I worked the first few mornings and we worried between Pina coladas and dodging monsoon style weather. The dark clouds that covered the resort represented the dark cloud of worry that were covering my heart. In addition to my wife dealing with this worry, her father is undergoing spinal surgery this week as well. It’s been a mind filled week.
Then one moment at the dinner hosted for all the 600 plus consultants in attendance changed the clouds of worry into sun rays. I have been reading a prayer book and trying to elevate my prayer life and belief. I read how our prayers effect the world well beyond our individual needs.
At the dinner Scott Monroe, husband of the Thirty-One founder, prayed for the meal. During the prayer he seemed to add one line that was just for us like a word of comfort from the Lord. Paraphrased he said “God let everyone here know that you are taking care of all our family and loved ones back home. Help us trust you in caring for them. Help their minds be at ease.” I’m not sure exactly what he said, but that’s what I heard and I began to cry. I wiped my eyes and had a sense of peace.
Today the rain poured down hard and our worry was still there. Ayla had an appointment with the doctor and my father-n-law had his surgery. I remembered what Scott had said the night before and the clouds began to lift. I prayed and asked God to care for them and we will respond how he needs us to. The clouds at the resorts lifted and we are seeing sunshine for the first time all week. I have struggled with worry most of my life. I learned to not let it consume me like I used to. I believe God is continually working on me.
Originally this post was to start concluding here. The next day after writing this my wife we on our way to a jungle excursion which included jumping off of 20 foot cliffs, zip lines, and swimming in caves. On the way there I saw a message from my mother-n-law that said Ayla was on her way the emergency room at the doctor’s request. I had noticed the message as the bus pulled away from the hotel and we lost internet service. Once we arrived at a true Mayan village I was able to begin texting with my dad. Ayla’s blood work confirmed pancreatitis. The day we left we asked Oakley’s mom to put Ayla on strict low-fat diet which is the only way to combat pancreatic attacks without complete fasting. We prayed as we trekked through the jungle. Ayla was in a waiting room at the ER as we jumped off cliffs. We prayed for safety of us and for her. It was complete chaos in our minds as we enjoyed moments and I ran to check my phone every few minutes. They did more blood work on her and a few hours later we received the news that she was being released and going home. The low fat diet had helped her enzyme levels drop enough for the doctors to feel comfortable with her not having to fast. Our trek from the Mayan village to the bus was one of joy and relief. We had to work to completely trust God and our families to take care of her. We had to work to have fun and not let the worry take away an incredible experience that my wife and I will always remember. Fighting the feelings of guilt because of the fun while our daughter was awaiting another test was tough. Feeling helpless as a parent is indescribable. I really feel God was using this experience to show us we can truly trust him. He showed us that our daughter is a strong person and I hoped it showed her the same.
As I finish the post the sky has a dual personality with rain and sunshine. In spite of the rain God is still there shining down on us. I will remain committed to trusting him. When I let the rain of worry shower down on me as it is sure to do I will hold fast in the truth that rain is momentary and that the God who created the sun will shine always.
The hybrid of parent and small business ownership is truly tested on vacations. Maybe this time I wasn’t be great about disconnecting fully, however I am the type of person who likes to learn and I look forward to my next lesson. Thank you Thirty-One for this trip and thank you to my wife for working so hard to earn it and thank you God for taking care of my little girls.
Cue harp music for the return to tonight. It really was a painfully enjoyable experience. My wife and I had the greatest time on the trip and made some great friends. We both learned to trust God more. I know worry may never leave me, but the level of which I let it steal my joy is going to be a lot less.

Mom’s Gone Now What? Running Solo for A Week Part one

When my wife asked me if she could go to a conference for her company I said sure.  I go to two or three trainings a year and spend thousands of dollars a year on events to further my personal and professional education.  I love events where I can get surrounded by colleagues and superstars in my business.  My natural response was “yes”, because I want my wife to have the same opportunity I get.  What I didn’t fully realize at the time was that her being gone for 6 days meant I had to fly solo with two precious little girls during the summer in the midst of the busiest season of my work world with over a dozen real estate deals going and four construction projects on the ground.  I pulled up my daddy boots and put on my house husband apron and went to work. I am thankful that my parents were able to watch the girls during the days while I worked.  Without that I’m not sure I would have made it.

I’m fully capable of handling dinner and bedtime solo  and hanging with the girls for a night, as a HOTONE (Husband of Thirty-One) that’s no big deal. If you didn’t know my wife is a rockstar Thirty-One Gifts consultant. She really is amazing in her business, meaning I get to practice nighttime with the girls several times a month while she is hosting parties. Comes with the territory and I’m glad to do it. Supporting your spouse is key and should work both ways.   Doing nighttime and daytime for six days in a row was definitely a first.  Who knew kids ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner plus a snack and another snack and another snack. These kids eat like teenage boys. I was never told that growing girls eat like crazy as well.  Oh yeah did I mention that my six year old had just come out of the hospital for pancreatitus and was on a low fat diet. No easy out with McD’s and pizza every night. I actually had to come up with real meals and made a lot of salads. Thank God they ate them.  During lunch I crammed as much fattening food as I could find to ease the pain and fill my fat food cravings. 

We got so busy before my wife left that neither of us remembered to go grocery shopping.  Taking two little girls to the local grocery store at 5:30 pm in the middle of the week is like running into a hurricane. Don’t people shop on weekends? What was supposed to be a quick trip turned into an hour of “Daddy can I have this, daddy can I have that ….., daddy why are you buying so much wine?”  My kids are great when we go to a store about not crying over toys and other items. When it comes to telling them no about food it’s like I punched them in the gut and ran over their non-existent puppy. I was looking around to make sure no one called the police telling them I was depriving my girls of sweet tarts.  I could hear the sirens in my head and the “doink doink” sound from Law and Order.  Best thing to do is race to the check out and head home with boxes of non mom approved cereals (insert villianist laugh, hehehehe)

I did my best to keep up with dishes (paper plates), laundry (wear the same clothes for 6 day kids), and house work.  I did nothing but work, be dad, and house work. By ten o’clock each night I curled up in a little ball in my bed with a sippy cup of wine and watched Big Bang Theory reruns counting the days till my wife came home. 

Over all I really handled it well.  I actually managed to get a bunch of work done with the kids which I will detail in my next post. Nothing like showing your most expensive property of the year with the little ones in tow. 

The day before my wife came home the girls and I put it into high gear to have the house as clean as possible. The goal, let mom come home to a house with no dishes, laundry to be done and no toys in the living room.  I accomplished this with Disney Princess and Tinkerbell movie marathons and lollipops. 

I have the utmost respect for single parents everywhere.  If you’re a single parent and running a business you have the absolute toughest job in the world.  As a dad I’m equipped to handle a lot of things, spiders, bills, changing light bulbs, checking for the boogie monster and scaring off boys. However I’m not equipped for a week of dressing, feeding, and attempting to do the hair of  little girls. I tried and had some epic hair fails, so much so that my oldest just looked at me and said, “Lita (grandma) will do it when you drop us off.”

Amidst of all the chores and girly things I had some of the best quality time I could ever imagine with my kids. We danced and played games, watched movies and stayed up late a few times because it takes me forever to get through their nighttime routine while taking calls, sending out contracts and doing dishes.  I also developed an amazing appreciation for my wife.  The one thing I made sure of was to do my absolute best not to complain to my wife about the extra stress.

I wanted her to enjoy her time and get the most out her trip. Making your spouse feel guilty over work trips is not going to help your marriage at all. I must say my wife has been really good about this over the years. I never felt more guilt than my self imposed guilt. After a few trips I gave myself permission to enjoy my time and really focus on my trips. The great thing is once a year we now take a trip together to attend a personal growth event.

I made it through the 6 days unscathed and the kids had a good time, but we were all super excited to see mom.