With all the talk of the “Fiscal Cliff” in Washington, we must be aware of the “Expectation Cliff” this Holiday Season. The number one piece of advice I can give anyone for this time of year to have Peace in your life is to be aware of your expectations of others and yourself. Many of the disappointments you feel in your life come from unrealized and unmet expectations. Consistently being disappointed can lead to a relationship being destroyed that didn’t have to. Before your drive your relationships of the cliff you can learn to steer things in the right direction.
This is often the result of expecting something from others that we have never let them know we expect. The whole men don’t read minds thing is true. It also works the other way either. Of course women tend to have an idea what men are thinking this time of year, football, food, football, sex, food, food, then nothing, and then more of the same. Unsaid expectation always lead to unmet expectation.
The more expectations you have of someone the easier it is to be disappointed. This does not mean that we should not have reasonable expectations. What I am referring to is expecting someone to act exactly how you want them to or believe they should. We often want others to act exactly like us. Everyone is unique and they have different beliefs, different experiences, and different thoughts which means they will act and think differently than you.
This holiday season the number one thing you can serve is grace. Have grace with those around you and enjoy their differences. Modify your expectations to be realistic of others. Just because you do something a certain way don’t expect others to do the same. The stories we tell ourselves about unmet expectations are often destructive and in most cases plain wrong. For example if someone forgets to send you a card it’s probably because they forgot and not that they dislike you. Adjust the story and how you think about unmet expectation and you can really transform your day to day living.
This simple way of approaching people can save you a lot of pain and add joy to your life. It will allow you to experience the moments of the day instead of judging them away.
Til next time It’s A Blessed Life,